We all think we are great communicators, but I see examples of communication killers every day. Are you guilty of any of them?
- Lack of eye contact and full attention. When I ask people what makes them feel that someone is not communicating effectively with them, lack of eye contact and the feeling that they do not have the person's full attention is always up there at the top of the list.
Put down that newspaper or stop working on the keyboard and turn and face the person. Look him in the eyes and don't let your eyes wander to a piece of paper you have on your desk or something on your cell phone or computer monitor.
Don't answer the telephone unless you are expecting an important call that you can't miss. If that is the case, explain that up front at the beginning of the conversation and why it is critical. If you absolutely must answer the phone because the caller ID says it is someone important (like your boss), quickly tell the person why you must take the call. Don't open mail, fidget, play with a pencil or display any other nervous gesture. The best place for your hands is in your lap or resting on your desk, except when you are speaking.
- Interrupting. Do you spend most of your time thinking of what you want to say next? Do you often finish other people's sentences? Those are communication killers. When you interrupt a person it makes them feel that their thoughts and opinions do not matter. When you finish their sentence for them, it might not be what the other person intended. So let the other person finish what they are saying before you jump in. When people feel they have your complete attention, they're more likely to state their point quickly and thereby save you time.
- Not checking for understanding. Do you just nod and smile as the other person is communicating? Well, that is only part of good communication. The other is to occasionally ask questions to clarify and check for understanding. You can also paraphrase what the other person said. This makes the other person feel that you are really listening to them and that you understand the issue.
If you find that the speaker is repeating himself, it may mean he thinks you don't understand him and are "not getting it." In that case, try to repeat some of the actual words and phrases the speaker is using.
Time restraints and short staffing are probably forcing you to have to multi-task in order to get all your work done. But if you are doing it and are guilty of some of these communication killers, then you are not being as productive as you can be.
Communication skills are especially important for managers and supervisors. You can't lead if your communication is poor. If you have new supervisors or want re-motivate your current staff, contact me about our in house supervisory skills program.
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