Do you have to work with complainers? Complainers go with the territory in any job and you may even have more than one. Here are just a few tips to deal with them from my program on "Dealing With Difficult People And Tough Situations."

1. Make them feel listened to. I know you don't want to do this; you just want them to stop and go away. But many times all complainers want is for someone to listen to them. Experts say that often that is all the complainer wants. But don't fake listening! Ask questions, paraphrase what they said, and check for understanding. Try to listen without passing judgment. If you give them a little of your time and make them feel listened to, they will shorten the time spent complaining. Well, most of the time.
2. If you are busy, use the direct approach. "Bob, I wish I could talk more about the situation but I am on a big deadline right now." Try various forms of this until they get the hint that you are too busy to listen to their complaining.
3. Don't join the complainer and agree with him. That just encourages him to continue to come to you to vent. If you disagree, say so. Otherwise, complainers might mistake your silence for agreement. And you don't want to get a reputation for also being a complainer!
4. Press him for a solution to his gripe. Use phrases like "How do you suggest we solve this problem?" or "What do you think you can do about this situation?" Don't offer your solutions; they will usually find some reason to disagree with your ideas. They must come up with their own strategies. And by making them responsible for determining a solution, they are more likely to act on it and stop complaining.

   But don't count on it. Remember, you cannot make another person happy; they can only do it themselves. Stop trying to change other people. People only change themselves if:

   • They want to
   • If they know how to
   • When they are ready and willing
   • When they see a need
   • When they are involved

If none of those situations exists, stop trying. All it will do is cause frustration.

Also read : 10 Collection Negotiations Tips to Deal With Delinquent Customers